Miyag-Ecards: Christmastime is for Giving
Christmas is a time for being generous. Give me that piece of food in your hand. Now leave me alone.
Miyag-Ecards: Happy Holidays
The Holidays are a joyous time. Like that time I peed on your bookbag. Happy Holidays, to you, smelly human, and all your stinking human kin.
Oh, right. You’re “working.” How about working on getting me some ham, dumbass? Whenever you’re done looking at your exes on Facebook. Any time. Really.
Miyag-Ecards: Best Friends
We go together like bread & butter. Like kibbles & bits. Like my teeth and your ankles. Just right.
Miyag-Ecards: Words of Advice
In my 112 dog years on this earth, I have learned a few things. Most importantly: People are annoying. Secondly: The smaller you are, the more of them you can bite without consequence. That’s not advice, it’s a threat.
Winston, the puggle that loves everyone, says...
Hello Janki! You’re amazing! I’m so happy you were born! xo Winston
Miyag-Ecards: Introducing Winston, the puggle who...
Miyagi is taking the week off from your stupid face. In his place, Winston, the puggle who loves everyone, has prepared a greeting to brighten up your day. Have I told you lately that you’re gorgeous? xo, Winston
Miyag-Ecards: Hang in There
For those times when life seems so overwhelming you just want to wilt into your person’s arm and give it all up, just remember: At least you stink like a champion.
Miyag-Ecards: Summer Vacation
As you can see, my beach body is all in order. Now get away from my stump, you stinking ape, the bitches await.
My New UberBlog →
Consolidated everything, keeping the MiyagEcards here. We roll with the utility.
Miyag-Ecards: 4th of July
In honor of Independence Day, I’m giving you independence from dry socks. You’re welcome.
My Embassytown Review →
A sweet breakdown of an oeuvre with minimal spoilers.
Miyag-ecards: Nando's Birthday Edition
. Happy birthday, special friend Nando. You are special in many ways: I ESPECIALLY want to snap at you when you cross the invisible line on the bed, I ESPECIALLY want you to hold still while I sniff your pantlegs for hours and hours (what else are you here for, sir?), I ESPECIALLY want you to give me the rest of that pork shoulder you are obviously cooking just for me. Most special about...
Miyag-Ecards: Father's Day
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. I wish I knew my Dad. He’s probably dead by now. Thanks for bringing it up, asshole.
Miyag-Ecards #9: Birthday 3
Birthdays can be draining. You know what would help? Giving me all your cake. Then getting your damn camera out of my face.
Miyag-ecards: Mother's Day
Happy Mother’s Day. My mother is dead. Cause I’m 14 and she was a dog. Bet you didn’t think about that when you decided to raise such a kerfuffle.
Miyag-ecards, #8: Thinking of You
Thinking of you, and how much I’d like to pee on your damn shoes.
Miyag-ecards, #7: 420
What are you, some kind of drug addict? I knew it all along.
Miyag-ecards, #6: Birthday 2
I hope your birthday is happy and painless. Because I’m saving up a load of tiny, sharp teeth for your present.
Miyag-ecards, #5: Anniversary
Happy Anniversary. May your love last as long as my hatred for you and all your kind. Meaning: Forever. This is lovingly dedicated to my parents, celebrating 36 years of pretty great marital bliss this week. Congrats, M&D! Miyagi says: Here’s to 36 more years of you leaving me alone!
A Guided Tour of the Museum of Communism Review! →
Here’s a book review I did!
Miyag-ecards, #4: Congrats
Well done. You stupid, smelly human.
Miyag-ecards, #3: Bar Mitzvah
Mazel tov on your Bar/Bat Mitzvah. I will bite you 13 times to celebrate your adulthood.
Miyag-ecards, #2: Get Well Soon
Get well soon. So I can bite you some more. To Ira, with love.
The Miyag-ecard Collection
Introducing Miyag-ecards, occasional e-cards from Mr. Miyagi, my geriatric Chihuahua. He’s 14, mostly blind and deaf, and doesn’t have time for your guff. Keep a look out every Wednesday for the newest greeting from the little dog who hates you.
Miyag-ecards, #1: Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday. I still hate you and your damn smell.
Giveaway! Tell Us:
wordbrooklyn: What’s your favorite read of 2011 so far? Reblog this post with your answer; we’ll randomly select one person to win a WORD t-shirt! I want it! I want that WORD T-shirt, dammit! My favorite read of 2011 that CAME OUT in 2011 was A Guided Tour Through the Museum of Communism by Slavenka Drakulic. My favorite read of 2011 of an older book was Julie Doucet’s My New York...
Cage Match Round 2 →
…Fight! Here’s the second Suvudu Cage Match I helped out with. What fun. Check it out for my first attempt at poetry since the 8th grade.
Randall's Animals →
Hoooww could I have lived this long and not seen this? They’re having a flamingo bar-b-que!
New York Press Piece: Seven Moves in Eight Years →
Here’s a piece what I wrote for one of NYC’s most storied free weeklies.